Medieval Romantic Gifts

"The screen porch makes it a home."

'Honest, I'm not a toad - I'm a frog with a skin condition.'

'Most queens just have to wear chastity belts!'

'I got a perm.'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Early model of baggage claim"

Dragon and Dragoff

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'The knights are drawing closer'

"But I use all of them!"

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

An Appreciation

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

Lovers

Medieval King

Knight with paint tin on his head.

King Richard I

A popular stall at the Giant Sunday Pack Horse Contents Sale in Newark.

"Ground score!"

Knight

"These LARPERS are a bit more subtle and reality-based."

Extreme Sheepherding

'What's this I hear about you running against me?'

Porcupine emerges from medieval mace.

Knight of the sandcastle.