Medicine Taker Gifts

'I take my blood pressure medicine at bedtime and before looking at the market reports.'

"Feel free to take notes."

Exam

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

Jason and the Aga notes,

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

Empty Headed Schoolboy

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Good Luck with your finals.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

'I'm afraid I still have more questions than answers.'

Bigger Brain

History student: 'I remembered the Alamo ... but forgot everything else!'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'The penguin is upset...'

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Meanwhile at the Cafe de la Mort...

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

'What did I ever see in you?' 'Fortunately I wrote it down. 'Jenny thinks I have a super sense of humour.''

'Math isn't really my long suit, Mrs. Ferguson -- how about I just take a drug test?'

Student in the middle of an exam realises he has accidentally picked up dumb water.

'My mind was a million miles away today, but that wasn't far enough.'

School boy uses 'Sats Nav' to navigate his way to exam room.

'It creeps me out when he watches the History Channel and takes notes!'

Of course the teasts are complete nonsense but we're working on the basis that anyone who can be bothered to complete all 148 of them must be highly motivated...

"Sorry Mr Penrose. We forgot to shake your medicine this morning."

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

"These EHR formats are an indecipherable headache to try and wade through. I miss the old days when the doctor's writing was all we had to figure out."

Kid to fallen teacher: 'Will this be on the test?'