Medication Misunderstanders Pillows

Stupid medicine - Shake Well Before Using.

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

She - Interpreter - He.

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

Meds Toast

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

Calm down...this is for your own good.

'I'm Alan, the chronically misunderstood employee...'

Theater on meds

"Do a double-blind test. Give the new drug to rich patients and a placebo to the poor. No sense getting their hopes up. They couldn't afford it even if it works."

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

'North Korea and Iran want nukes... Palestinians elect Hamas... and now a commercial from a leading anti-anxiety medication....'

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"

'I've got it in pill form, but for really fast relief from panic attacks...'

'It's Mrs Yomp - she can't remember if she should take the aspirin first and call you in the morning, or call you first, then take the aspirin...'

'They don't have any side effects, nor any other effect whatsoever!'

"You know that drug commercial where everyone is laughing and running around with friends and dogs enjoying the beautiful day? What are they on?"

"The printer ran out of ink so that's only a partial list of the side effects."

'He broke his wrist trying to open his medicine.'

"Just call me...Mr. Saturday Night!"

Standup Pharmacist

'Buy Grimbalto for depression. (side effects include headaches, paranoia, thoughts of suicide and depression.'

'Call me immediately if this prescription causes and headaches or hallucinations.'

R Prescriptions

"I told him 1 tranquilizer every 4 hours, not 4 tranquilizers every 1 hour."

"To be fair - he DID say he was going to rearrange your face...!"

"Now that you've taken all the drugs that start with 'A' I'd like to start you on the 'Bs'."

Most common side effects...