Medication Misunderstanders Pillows

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

She - Interpreter - He.

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

Meds Toast

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

Calm down...this is for your own good.

Theater on meds

'I'm Alan, the chronically misunderstood employee...'

"Do a double-blind test. Give the new drug to rich patients and a placebo to the poor. No sense getting their hopes up. They couldn't afford it even if it works."

'North Korea and Iran want nukes... Palestinians elect Hamas... and now a commercial from a leading anti-anxiety medication....'

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"

'He broke his wrist trying to open his medicine.'

"You know that drug commercial where everyone is laughing and running around with friends and dogs enjoying the beautiful day? What are they on?"

Standup Pharmacist

'I've got it in pill form, but for really fast relief from panic attacks...'

"Just call me...Mr. Saturday Night!"

'They don't have any side effects, nor any other effect whatsoever!'

"The printer ran out of ink so that's only a partial list of the side effects."

'Call me immediately if this prescription causes and headaches or hallucinations.'

"Now that you've taken all the drugs that start with 'A' I'd like to start you on the 'Bs'."

"I told him 1 tranquilizer every 4 hours, not 4 tranquilizers every 1 hour."

R Prescriptions

"To be fair - he DID say he was going to rearrange your face...!"

Most common side effects...

'I said use your toolbar, NOT your crowbar.'