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'...If the condition continues for more than five hours, call 911.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

Jester Surgeon

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'Is it urgent?'

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

"You've got to move. The bed is needed for another TV drama."

'Say, please.'

Love Tap

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

'Brain surgery, right?'

'First the good news - we've all got to go sometime...'

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

Operation/Grim Reaper

'Oh, don't mind them, We're shooting a reality-based TV series,'

"I wish I could help you, but you're on the set of a hospital soap opera."

'Who was that masked man? I never got the chance to thank him!'

'Damn it! I suppose this means another malpractice suit!'

"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."