Medical Tale Lover Gifts

Flo tries to look dignified while waiting to hand in her stool sample.

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"I feel your pain level."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

Paging for a Doctor

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Don't worry. We still have a few more treatment options available.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"Your test results are perfect and there is nothing wrong with you. We will operate on you for it tomorrow."

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"I am not the famous heart surgeon, but I am in his medical group."

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

'Just another couple of pages.'

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.