Medical Shop Assistant Pillows

'Something for the weekend, sir?'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Cut Price

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

"This is daring, but I like it."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'You say 'boo' she wets herself.'

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

Penguin suit fitting.

Orderly Conduct of Sales

'My name is Mrs. Horner. My son Jackie stuck his thumb into a hot pie and burned it.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

'You're giving me a flu-shot? Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-flu shot?'

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."

How would Madam like to pay?

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

"When they said the NHS was 'from the cradle to the grave' I didn't think they meant we couldn't retire until we were 108..."

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

We stock ALL sizes...

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

'I assure you madam, that the uglification factor of this mirror is no greater than the nationally accepted one-to-one standard.'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

"Well, your bloodwork came back very cosmopolitan."

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

How much would you take off for cash?

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

'Here Coco. It's another prescription for laughter to be filled.'