Medical School Survivor Gifts

'Actually, you're my second patient if you count that cadaver in med school.'

'He earned his way through medical school working in a pizzeria!'

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Evil Exams!

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

"If nothing else, school has prepared me for a lifetime of backpacking."

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

"I came up through the ranks."

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'

'The only thing I'm sure of is death and taxes and home work.'

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."