Law School Survivor Gifts

"Have you notices how Ed has changed since he started going to law school?"

'Sorry, but you only have six months to live...but if you marry a lawyer a lawyer it'll be the longest six months of your life.'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

Bob's Driving School.

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

"We make crime pay."

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"So, there are no lies, half truths or exaggerations on your resume?... What on earth makes you think you'd make a good lawyer?"

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

"If nothing else, school has prepared me for a lifetime of backpacking."

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."