Medical Practices T-Shirts

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'You sure? I thought Mr. Travolta's appointment wasn't until Thursday.'

"I hope you're not here for the good of your health?"

Surgery Instructions.

Surgeons using a Swiss Army Knife.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

vaccine wars.

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

Ice Cream Surgeon

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

A midwife holding a baby

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."