Medical Practitioners T-Shirts

"With symptoms like yours, you could be the next Batman!"

Old woman and doctor

'It's from the PCT...they want us to reduce bullying in the practice or they're going to cut our funding and send someone around to kick out A****'

MD trash talk... "Your mama is so dumb, she doesn't know endopeptidase from endopericarditis."

"I've got a really good feeling about this new I.T. guy we just hired!"

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

A midwife holding a baby

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"Your contents have shifted."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The first one's just a warning."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..