Medical Mischief Appreciator Pillows

"Time of death, 11:55." "Wait, what?" "No, sorry, my phone died."

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

"We'd like to run a few tests on you to work the kinks out of it."

"Here's your sweater back."

"Cat with nine still lives"

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

"It's inoperable and perennial."

Less expensive equivalent.

White cat on top of a Christmas tree.

Dog steals a cricket ball.

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

Birds steal sleeping girl's shoelaces.

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"When they develop their own gravitational field it's a clear warning sign of getting type 2 diabetes."

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

"It happened either over the weekend or when I left the office today for lunch."

"You have what we are going to call Klitson's Disease, Mr. Klitson."

Good Kitty No More.

'I'll take #1.'

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

BEWARE! Cheshire snake in the grass!

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

"Now, those pills you just took may produce some visual side effects."

'You are a very good doctor. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."

'The only thing wrong with you is that you're holding up my golf game.'

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'