Medical Mailing List Explorer T-Shirts

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'Here's an interesting article. 'Cold or Seasonal Allergy?''

Covid Wrestling

'Medical science is this close to finding a cure for the common evil vapors.'

"Instead of days, my pill organizer is divided into months."

'In this practice we like to have the best of the old with the best of the new.'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"Nurse! Call the doctor, I've found out what is wrong with me."

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

'It all started over who had the bigger medical file.'

'Can you walk me through this 'snail mail' stuff?'

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

"So, when you looked up your symptoms, did it say to complain about it incessantly but never seek treatment?"

Medical Data Base of Useful Information, 5K. Medical Data base of useless information, 500,000,000 MB.

'Ok, the mailing list didn't work well, but do we have to burn it?'

Man with a wooden leg asking to be measured for a pair of boots

"So tell me doc, what's new and exciting in pharmacology these days?".

Thin man enters 'Closed and Narrow MRI', heavy man enters 'Open and Wide MRI'

What to do till medicine is discovered....

I've already got a diagnosis from homedoc.com, but I thought I'd see you for a second opinion!

"Visiting your health club's website is a start, but I'd prefer you actually go there and exercise."

'Mister Rumley, have YOU been taking any of Major's atropine tablets?'

"That's strange. We don't have any back issues of the Chriopractic Journal."

'What've you got for a headache?'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well'

I'm referring you to a specialist who knows how to deal with HMO's.

Kim was beginning to wish she hadn't started down the self-diagnosis route

"The extra charge is for arguing with me from what you've read on the Net."

"Your generous contribution helps fund these solicitations."