Mailroom Explorer T-Shirts

'Can you walk me through this 'snail mail' stuff?'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Theorbo

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"... And his piano teacher says that he definitely has Van Gough's ear for music."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Musical genres

'Whatever he's eating.'

Coffee

Coffee Menu

'The customer is always right...'

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'I wouldn't worry about the retirement plan. You'd have to be out of your mind to work here that long.'

'Hard or soft science?'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

Heart Disease Menu

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."