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PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

The Kali De Milo.

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

Medusa and Perseus.

'Moses looks back - 'The commandments, the Red Sea, the books of the bible, but I never had a hit song.'

Cures for Ye Plague

'Feed a cold, starve the plague.'

Edward Jenner

'Medical science is this close to finding a cure for the common evil vapors.'

Leeches, lucky charms, rat catching. The secretary of health is in.

"Trepanning for gold"

Early Blood Draw

John Snow

Covid Vaccines

Medical Curiosities

"Milton finally found a doctor he can trust - one who still believes in the healing power of money."

"Now, those pills you just took may produce some visual side effects."

An early medical case ripe for a malpractice lawsuit.

'We didn't know what to do with all our old, outdated equipment, so we made a sculpture garden from it.'

"We use leeches on the test subjects and slugs on the control group."

Consultation of Physicians.

Antique Ailments

'In this practice we like to have the best of the old with the best of the new.'

"So why is it that we only get to see you whenever you need a gruesome amputation?"

"We'll be performing the operation using original instruments."

Florence Nightingale

Early Anaesthesia

"How come we don't start plagues any more? Are we one of those boring couples?"

"They just don't make 'em like Doc Malone anymore!"

Hippocrates

"I'd thought I'd lost my arm when I was hit in battle. It's amazing what they can do with reconstructive surgery these days."

"On certain types of wounds we use lawyers instead of leeches because lawyers never seem to get their fill of blood..."

Press Conference

Saint George's Day: 'You can understand why they made him England's Patron Saint.'