Medical Forms Pillows

"I didn't get to see the doctor. The office closed before I finished filling out the 'New Patient' forms."

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'

"We found a problem with your bill. It's too low. But I'm confident we can get it into the unaffordabe range soon."

"When I said hair transplant I meant more than one."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

"Please fill out these forms. We don't need them for anything, but you're making me nervous staring at your watch."

Emma is very happy that the doctor will finally remove the growth on Daddy's nose but she's also a little sad to see it go...

Antibiotics versus probiotics: A battle of wills.

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

"Oh I don't work here, I just love filling out forms."

"The good news is the frustration of filling out all this paperwork will keep your mind off your pain."

'I'm going to check with my pastor to see what the Bible says about this operation.'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

Medical Billing & Coding

"High sodium, high cholesterol, lots of toxins - your blood test is remarkably similar to cheap potato chips."

"Next time you want me to swallow a camera, just wrap it in bacon!"

"Please fill out these medical forms, which are identical to the ones you filled out earlier online, and have the exact same questions your doctor will ask you later in the exam room."

'Mobile reception OK in there?'

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

"The doctor's nurse's nurse practitioner will see you now."

Is there anyone here from 'customer care'? Could you tell them I'll ring back as soon as I've got my new kidney in!

'Nurse Wilhelm will be live-blogging the whole procedure.'

"Stiff neck, blurred vision, and Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, all due to extended time in front of a computer. I think I just discovered the ICD-10 code for my job!"

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

'I've been here for 30 years. I've forgotten what my exact role is, but I do finally know how to fill out all the forms.'

A scared man who is about to have surgery performed by a robot.

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'