Medical Field Explorer Gifts

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Dancing Doctor

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'Relax, sir. He's a Border Colie - smartest of all breeds!'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

'He specializes in funny bones.'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

Clandestine cows.

'While you're doing his brain surgery, can you tweak things a bit so he'll stop picking his nose at the dinner table?'

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"Your lung capacity is excellent!"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

DNA doctor

'Your hospital needs more nurses? So hire more nurses!'

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

'Medical science is this close to finding a cure for the common evil vapors.'

Exploring Healthcare Careers

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

Medicare: More is Better!

"You'd like a second opinion....luckily I'm schizophrenic!"

'Normally, I'd give a man in your condition six months to live, but we have a special this week on eight months!'

"Nurse, I said 'boil' the instruments, not 'fry' the instruments."

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

"5 second rule!"

'Mrs. Tomkins says her prescription has no side effects, so it can't be doing her any good.'

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"Hey, how come no diplomas?" "Oh, I'm self-taught."