Medical Field Explorer Gifts

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Dancing Doctor

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'Relax, sir. He's a Border Colie - smartest of all breeds!'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

'He specializes in funny bones.'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

Clandestine cows.

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"Your lung capacity is excellent!"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

DNA doctor

'Medical science is this close to finding a cure for the common evil vapors.'

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

'Your hospital needs more nurses? So hire more nurses!'

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

Exploring Healthcare Careers

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

Medicare: More is Better!

"Nurse, I said 'boil' the instruments, not 'fry' the instruments."

'Normally, I'd give a man in your condition six months to live, but we have a special this week on eight months!'

"You'd like a second opinion....luckily I'm schizophrenic!"

'Mrs. Tomkins says her prescription has no side effects, so it can't be doing her any good.'

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"Hey, how come no diplomas?" "Oh, I'm self-taught."

'Who was that masked man?'