Medical Evaluations T-Shirts

'Let's see if your insurance carrier thinks its curable.'

'Well, well, well...'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"Oh, Aunt Em, it wasn't a dream. It was a place. And you and you and you ... and you were there. But not that man with the straitjacket."

Turkey Autopsy

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

Turn your head and laugh.

"Darn it, lost another swab."

Medical Examinations.

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'I see a beautiful young woman. You're naked, she's leaning over you. Oh, wait. She's performing your autopsy! '

Turkey Autopsy

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

"Another clear case of COVID19."

What goes up must come down, except for your cholesterol, apparently.

No offense, Doctor, but I'm feeling kinda rushed.

"You've got bunions, hammertoes and plantar fasciitis. Bad feet must run in your family." "Nobody runs in my family."

"I didn't even get a balloon."

"Curiosity."

'In this case, a new high score is not a good thing.'