Medical Chart Collector T-Shirts

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

'Medical science is this close to finding a cure for the common evil vapors.'

Wards / Mortuary

Side Effects

Two parent snakes measuring the growth pattern of their young one across the wall.

'Well...all right...go ahead.'

"Nothing wrong with your eyesight sir: must have been a mirage you saw..."

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

'It's a medical miracle. According to your notes you should have been dead years ago!'

'I didn't do well in geography. I guess you had to be there.'

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

"Regarding my art collection, I know what I like."

Optometrist practical jokes

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

"You've omitted your previous patient experience and recommendations from two other doctors."

'It all started over who had the bigger medical file.'

'What do you recommend for the collecting bug?'

'Dr Yomp's laxatives works for you, and loosens up the slots at the casino!'

"According to my calculations, the world's water level will not rise due to global warming!"

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

"It's a report card, not a credit card -- you don't get cash back."

"Let's see you're my 46 year old dirtbag with acute cheapskateitis?"

'We've broken your list into eighty-four subgroups. Our work here is done.'

A man opens a medicine cabinet to find a bunch of doctors.

In case you cut yourself breaking glass, break this glass.

'Hey Doreen - Justin has got 95% for truancy!'

If children's television taught optometry.