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Melvyn Bragg.

Gettysburg Address, "Now can we have it as a sound bite ?"

'This is strictly off the record...'

Breakfast Printing Press

'Sleaze, please.'

In the Guru District

"Here's what went wrong today."

'Frankly, I'd expected rather more from interactive television.'

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

"The nationwide recall and the class action lawsuits have established brand recognition for us."

'Let me rephrase your question and answer with a 10 second sound bite to catch the next news cycle.'

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

Stop the press, we've got an exclusive press release.

"I can't decide whether to specialize in criminal law or legal punditry."

'Although nothing newsworthy happened today, we will give you meaningless chatter, with the same enthusiasm we reserve for breaking news.'

'The online version just doesn't offer as much coverage as printed media.'

No news is good news.

'He's really putting that media studies degree to good use.'

"Let me answer your question by saying that you're being really aggressive, and it's totally freaking me out."

"We're starting to get media coverage. Pass it on."

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

Life is better with a laugh track and graphics.

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

Reality show pitch

'I do all of my negotiating through the media.'

'You're going to stitch me up in this interview aren't you?'

'And this is Paul, who writes our 'Voice of Sanity' column.'

"The much ballyhooed era of TV interactivity took a step closer to reality today."

This paper only prints the truth or the closest thing to it that doesn't get us sued for libel.

"Sorry, boys. I was told to keep my big mouth shut."

'Did you remember to stop our news feeds while we're away?'

'My degree is in journalism but with a major emphasis in celebrity gossip.'

Rachel Maddow

'It's online, subscribers pay only for the articles they want, it's updated every day - are you sure we can call it a magazine?'

'From the very beginning we felt that defeating the Big Bad Wolf would be meaningless unless we could parlay it into a book deal.'