Med-tech Geek Gifts

'I can't examine you, but your health insurance does allow you access to a self-diagnosing website.'

Elfie Stick

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

'Is this still America?'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

"In the spirit of co-operation, peace and friendship with the people of Earth, we welcome Captain Zork and his incredible advanced weapons technology..."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

'Still no improvement? Nurse, attach more gizmos.'

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

"I am using my GPS, but I spilled coffee on it which is why I'm really lost."

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"I'm only flesh and blood. And, of course, collagen."

Caveman Wheel Invention Version 2.0

"If God had intended us to fly in jets, He would have seen to it that the Wright Brothers invented jets."

Thomas Edison's brother Wilmer...couldn't even figure out how to turn on the light.

Actually, could you just e-mail me your electronic signature? Meet the author.

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

Workplace Confidentiality.

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

"So how exactly am I supposed to give a self-driving car a ticket?"

Mars Rover

'Hey Josh! This is the Grim Reaper calling. No really! I'm using all the new technologies now and, so sad, your minutes on earth - well, they're up!'

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

"The new technology means we can watch our shares fall on four different continents."

Traffic Offence Selfie

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

Hold on - it may take a few minutes for his new pacemaker to sync with his Fitbit.

'Oh, this is just great... Now how am I going to get a Wi-Fi connection?'

'Our new multi-syringe will take care of all your allergies in one fell swoop.'

"Pictographs or it didn't happen."