Mechanical Whiz Pillows

The Republican Machine

'I could pop the hood to take a look, but that would break the manufacturer's seal and void your warranty.'

'Does anyone have a zanglethribber?'

"Off hand, I'd say your bumpy ride is due to your tires, but just to be sure, I'll run a bunch of computer diagnostics."

Drastic Oil Change

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'C'mon get it straight.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

Evolution.

Multi-tasking.

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"How was work?"

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

'Recalculating...recalculating...'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"May I get an equation in edgewise."

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'Simply put.'

Genius Envy

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"It's called geometry, Mum."