Mechanical Maestro Pillows

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

'Your car has failed it's MOT.' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - 'I'm going to replace your lambda control.' - 'I don't even know what that is...' - 'It's expensive. That's all you need to know. My little blue victim.' - 'Gah.'

"If it weren't for our fine workmanship, your car would have fallen apart before the warranty expired, instead of the day after."

"You still working on your car?"

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"Well, here's your problem. You need an O right there."

"Lucky Guess."

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

Computer Music

'I can't decide weather to have a feisty or a sassy management style.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

IRS tax instructions.

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

Employees need to be treated like adults...

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

'Treat me easy this morning.'

'The only way to survive in the current economy is to diversify.'

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

Happy Birthday! I wasn't sure what sort of music you like...

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

'Are you worried about layoffs?'

'I guess I should have paid the foundation bill.'

"Admit it ... you were hexting while driving again."

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'

"Of course, black magic is more expensive than white magic. Do you think that the pigments are free?"