Meat-free Enthusiast Pillows

"I'm a vegan, and my ex is a carnivore. We were divorced on the grounds of irreconcilable dinners."

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

Go Veggie...

'Steak Ted?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

Important Food Groups

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Cow of BEEF

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Platter confusion.

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

Family Butcher.

*=Hotdog

I don

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

"Oooh... bacon!"

"Hmmm... what would Scooby Doo?"

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."