Meat-free Enthusiast Pillows

"I'm a vegan, and my ex is a carnivore. We were divorced on the grounds of irreconcilable dinners."

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

Go Veggie...

'Steak Ted?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

Important Food Groups

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

Cow of BEEF

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Platter confusion.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"Dig in. It's a medallion-of-veal look-alike."

Family Butcher.

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

"Oooh... bacon!"

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

*=Hotdog

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'