Meat Enthusiast Jocular Pillows

"Bad news, sir. The public isn't buying our new Pork Ala King."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Important Food Groups

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

Robot Jogger

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

*=Hotdog

Family Butcher.

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but, hang on a minute, I'm pretty sure I have the heart and stomach of a king, too..."

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Down on Her.

Tee-Hee-Bay - XXXL shoes.

"Veal or non-veal?"

Pigs at butcher: 'One day son, all this will be you..'

"Appetizer is almost done."

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Zombie Pulse Eating Vegans.

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

Nothing sweeter than seeing an old couple holding hams.

'And exactly where did you find the 'antique salami slicer'?'

"OK, I'll tell you what I know, but I can't reveal my source."