Meat Enthusiast Jocular Pillows

"Bad news, sir. The public isn't buying our new Pork Ala King."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Important Food Groups

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

*=Hotdog

Family Butcher.

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but, hang on a minute, I'm pretty sure I have the heart and stomach of a king, too..."

Down on Her.

"Veal or non-veal?"

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Pigs at butcher: 'One day son, all this will be you..'

"Appetizer is almost done."

Zombie Pulse Eating Vegans.

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

Nothing sweeter than seeing an old couple holding hams.

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

'And exactly where did you find the 'antique salami slicer'?'

"OK, I'll tell you what I know, but I can't reveal my source."

Vlad the Impaler - The Later Years.