Measuring Ingredients Pillows

Scales

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Honest Vending

All Natural Nothing

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

The Bearskin Hat Family

'Diet considerations.'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

Hacksaw Violin.

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

"Do you have a few minutes to talk about the metric system?"

"It kind of puts it all in perspective, doesn't it?"

'What's a cubic foot?' - 'Whatever it is claim compensation.'

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

'I'm sorry I ever told them it's a game of inches.'

Secret Family Recipes

"Gesundheit."

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."