Meal Sharer Mugs

'OK that's ten pieces of silver each, except for Judas...you had the Greek salad and the cheese platter, so you owe thirty pieces of silver.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

'It's my favorite.'

Horn of Leftovers

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

'Well, isn't this nice? Three generations all sitting down together.'

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

"Congratulations! It's a boy! Quickly nurse! Get her phone and upload a picture to facebook!"

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

'Mom, can't we stop to look at the Grand Canyon?'

"Now, is this the kind of painting you mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

"Well...at least you don't s**t on my ideas."

'You know, it isn't the mother's texting while delivering that bothers, it's those damn selfies they upload to Facebook.

People who steal food out of the fridge at work and then say...

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

"We'd like somewhere off the beaten track but Instagram friendly."

"Get those things away from me- I can't stop eating them."

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

Garden of Earthly Delights

Dog's Sandwich

A guy steals popcorn from the man sitting next to him.

"I like that you all brought enthusiasm, but did anyone bring food?"

"To save everyone from suffering in polite restraint, I shall eat the last slice."

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

"Look what I found on sale! Measuring cups to use for all your recipes!"

'I've got a tight schedule.'

'Yuck! My creamed corn is polluting my mashed potatoes!'

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

'Say, did you guys catch that report on the most important meal of the day?' ... 'I swear Breakfast, if you don't shut up already...'

"It looks like a lot, but I microwave it throughout the week."

"Psst... jelly doughnuts."