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Garden of Earthly Delights

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

Wanna talk about it?

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"Congratulations! It's a boy! Quickly nurse! Get her phone and upload a picture to facebook!"

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

"I'd appreciate a little more reacting to my ranting."

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

'Mom, can't we stop to look at the Grand Canyon?'

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

'You know, it isn't the mother's texting while delivering that bothers, it's those damn selfies they upload to Facebook.

"I just completely disagree with what you just said about America lacking focus."

"Well...at least you don't s**t on my ideas."

"Now, is this the kind of painting you mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

Man considers blogging.

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

"We'd like somewhere off the beaten track but Instagram friendly."

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

"Get those things away from me- I can't stop eating them."

"Oh, Herb. Not Another Open Letter To Miley Cyrus."

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

Dog's Sandwich

'Gloria, what do I have to do to share a fascinating online article about the surprising ways to use watermelon?'

A guy steals popcorn from the man sitting next to him.

". . .Release the Grunwalds now! Do not make us resort to force!"

"Thank you for participating in this poll, but because your answers do not coincide with your social media rantings, you're obviously lying."