Meal Misadventure Enthusiast T-Shirts

'My wife always switches the smoke detector off when she cooks.'

Come dine with me!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

6 Brothers Falafel

"You owe me five bucks."

Try to guess the continent dining...

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Before/After

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

Tzatzikicicle

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

Pizza Tower Bridge

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."

"They know me here."

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

"Perhaps Monsieur would care for something more expensive?"

"We succumbed to your hype."

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

Try our new genetically engineered produce.

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"