Meal Experimenter Pillows

"I mixed antacid tablets into the meatloaf so you won't get heartburn."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

Cookbooks

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

The Inexperienced Cook

"She's my hero. Life gave her lemons and she came up with pomegranate cranberry lemonade."

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'