Mayhem Enthusiast Gifts

"All those years studying mayhem. All that postgraduate work in looting and pillaging; and here I am, rowing the friggin' boat."

Future garbage truck driver.

Chaos Theory - a butterfly flaps its wings...

"Even if forced to slave all day, in my mind I'll always play!"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

'Save us!'

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Kiss the Commander in Chef

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

'What's the big thrill about Budgie Jumping!?'

"Mommy! Mommy! Daddy lost!"

'The part I love is when they come home and say 'WHO did this?. . .'

Unrest Area.

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

Go Play Outside - it's so real, you kids will almost smell the virtual fresh air!

The End is Nigh

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

"Vernon likes an element of danger in a water feature..."

A doorman fires a gun into the air.

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

Rats deserting a sinking ship

Boys Cooking

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

Chaos Theory Conference.

'He's having so much fun doing his job that I'm going to have to start charging him an admission.'

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'