Maths Gifts

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Johannes Kepler's uphill batle'

"Be rational."

If you have 5 dogs, 3 will be asleep.

Man doing sudsoku puzzle in bath

"Without doubt you are rational, how can you have an imaginary friend?"

"Freddy, take this back and add it up again. I was your maths teacher, remember."

'According to my analysis, the Theoretical Maths Department should be able to survive if we can budget for paper and pencils...'

'Today we're going to subtract how old you are fom how many years your parents have been married!'

'How are the accounts coming along?' - 'If the total's wrong, is the whole thing wrong?'

Exam Nerves.

'No offense, but by the time we're in the job market, won't that stuff be obsolete?'

'My teacher says my test reminds him of Einstein... could do better.'

'If a footballer earns ?85,000 a week and is fined two weeks wages how much is the fine?'

'I guess this means I won't make a very good accountant.'

'It's the thought that counts.'

Information booth attendant solves equation

'Poor fellow. One really is the loneliest number.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'C'mon get it straight.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Albert Einstein

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'But I digress...'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Thinking Gears

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.