Math Wizard T-Shirts

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

"What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong,"

"Brilliant mathematician. Teaching second grade. Dies suddenly from no apparent cause. Something just doesn't add up."

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

'It's your other 0.5.'

"That's where you're wrong! It is rocket science."

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio.'

'Well sure, if you want to get technical about it.'

"All in all, I'd say it's a pretty convincing explication of chaos theory."

"I'm right because it feels right!"

'I knew insects wouldn't take over the world...numbers will!'

'Hope you like it. I put a LOT of thought into it.'

IRS, 'This is the first time I've seen the square root of minus one on a tax return.'

'It needs tweaking, Robert.'

This Week's Winning Numbers

Lady cleaning hypothesis off blackboard.

Accountants - "I'm doing a hard sum and I haven't got enough fingers."

"His scores are so big these days that he takes his accountant with him to do the adding up."

"Make sure you show my work."

'We were broke, but since I switched to using the new math on our budget, we doing great!'

"Our fare structure is completely transparent, as anyone with a degree in higher mathematics can see."

What I Know. . .

Cursing Scientist.

"... But, Miss. Why do you have to learn from your mistakes? ...Why can't you learn from your successes?"

"Sit and stay were no problem but she's hit a wall with multivariable calculus.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"Yep, you've got mice, alright...and I'm afraid they're multiplying!"

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'But we just don't have the technology to carry it out.'

"If you drink two alcopops on a Monday, three on Wednesay and a further five over the weekend, how many units will you have consumed?"

'May I have your undivided attention, or at the very least, your divided attention?'

Leibniz

"Is my answer within the acceptable margin of error?"

"I'm thinking of a number between (3x2)=6 and (7x9)-(8x2)."