Math Wizard Pillows

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

"What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong,"

"Brilliant mathematician. Teaching second grade. Dies suddenly from no apparent cause. Something just doesn't add up."

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

'It's your other 0.5.'

"That's where you're wrong! It is rocket science."

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio.'

'Well sure, if you want to get technical about it.'

"All in all, I'd say it's a pretty convincing explication of chaos theory."

Blackboard equation: Strange effect no one can comprehend.

"I'm right because it feels right!"

'Hope you like it. I put a LOT of thought into it.'

IRS, 'This is the first time I've seen the square root of minus one on a tax return.'

'It needs tweaking, Robert.'

This Week's Winning Numbers

'I knew insects wouldn't take over the world...numbers will!'

Lady cleaning hypothesis off blackboard.

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'We were broke, but since I switched to using the new math on our budget, we doing great!'

"Sit and stay were no problem but she's hit a wall with multivariable calculus.'

"... But, Miss. Why do you have to learn from your mistakes? ...Why can't you learn from your successes?"

Cursing Scientist.

What I Know. . .

"Our fare structure is completely transparent, as anyone with a degree in higher mathematics can see."

"Make sure you show my work."

"His scores are so big these days that he takes his accountant with him to do the adding up."

Accountants - "I'm doing a hard sum and I haven't got enough fingers."

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"Yep, you've got mice, alright...and I'm afraid they're multiplying!"

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

Leibniz

"I'm thinking of a number between (3x2)=6 and (7x9)-(8x2)."

"Is my answer within the acceptable margin of error?"

'But we just don't have the technology to carry it out.'