Math Pun Lover Gifts

People who understand Venn diagrams

'Who invented arithmetic?' 'Henry the 1/8.'

'If you had £12 in one pocket and £8 in the other, what would you have?'

"Without doubt you are rational, how can you have an imaginary friend?"

"Would anyone care for some Pi"

The useless maths teacher couldn't count on his students.

'Maths is like a pigeon. I like it when it's not over my head.'

"No Alex, The answer isn't Posh Spice."

Maths Department with sum on door sign.

'I thought it might be easier if I converted it to text message first.'

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

'Do you do take aways?'

'Here's looking at Euclid.'

"The number 288 should never be mentioned. It's two gross."

Clown throws a pie

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

She loves to play with string theory.

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

The Physiciatrist...

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'I am on a diet! It's called the Wall Street diet. I invested in British Airways, and the first day I lost 500 pounds.'

A Brain Drain

"Here comes the super-visor."

It's a pretty serious chemical imbalance, Mr. Sims

"We've invented a new quantum microchip and at the same time we haven't."

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

"I don't know - the minute I figured out how to make it self-aware it realized it was naked, ran, and hid from me."

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.