Matchstick Architect T-Shirts

Indian painting his matchstick model palace gold

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

We're putting on a subtraction.

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

Caliologist

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

Witch Hardware

Snow Bridge.

"I love what you've done with him."

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

Acme Dating Service

Toy White House built incorrectly.

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Your tax return reads like one of your novels."

If it's any consolation, you burned the bejeezus out of his finger.

'Don't turn the page yet - I'm not finished!'

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'It's always the same design. I wish he'd get a more imaginative set of house plans.'

'My husband and I are real bird lovers.'

"I hope you've got planning permission for that?"

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"We've only got one parrot remember."