Matchmaker Maven Gifts

"On my dating website it said would be the perfect match."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Great Chinese Dynasties

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"#Win!"

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Direct Marketing...

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

Trade Show Sherpas

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."