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The Alter of Football

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Raheem Sterling

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

The commentators want to run the officials...

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

'We're in a hurry.'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

'He must be serious,mum - he's taking me out again tomorrow and there's football on television.'

'Let's buy the one that has the game on it.'

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

"Let's get this over with quick. The match starts in ten minutes."

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

Footballer.

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"

A football fan chews a football as his team concedes.

John Terry

"Lucky devil, he's listening to the live Test Match commentary from Australia."