Match Day Enthusiast T-Shirts

Soccer Match.

Football Applause

'These oxygen tanks go with your tickets. Where you're sitting, you'll need them.'

Footballer.

'We're in a hurry.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'Yes, he was there his afternoon - that's his balloon floating in the penalty area.'

"We'll swop at half time."

"He forgot to record the game, so he had to watch it live. The 1,284 commercials was too much for him to handle."

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

The commentators want to run the officials...

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

'The centre-forward wins a foul!'

'The Cup Final's just starting-think I should wake him?'

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

'Let's buy the one that has the game on it.'

'Not watching this,are you luv?'

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

A football fan chews a football as his team concedes.

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

"I promised I'd bring him - he could never afford to come when he was alive."

'Right, we'll take the shallow end.'

A typical Newcastle fan.

Football players walk onto the pitch holding childrens' hands, who are holding rag dolls.

'Don't mind her...I brought along my grief counsellor just in case.'

Loudspeaker announces fans' derogatory chant.

"What sports fan are you?"

The Alter of Football