Match Collector T-Shirts

Well, I see you've met your match!

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'It must be the dead sea.'

Try me/try me/try me...

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Thank you bubbles

"Harry?... Is that you?"

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

If you hold the conch up to your ear, you can hear the ocean swearing at you.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Feeling for shells

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

"I can hear the sea boiling."

"Too much club."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."