Complement Collector T-Shirts

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Self-esteem room

Flying sauces.

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.

'This is your lucky day!'

ACME Condiments Quality Control. The boss wants to know if you're going to pass the ketchup.

'It's my assistant - fishing for compliments.'

'You've got to admit, Harvey, the barbecue sauce is REALLY hot down here!'

"You see, when the compass goes crazy, you know you've reached the magnetic pole..."

"By the way… If no one has mentioned this before, we think you're swell."

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

"Gracie, can you make me soar?"

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

Self esteem clinic - Go ahead, take a number. You deserve it.

100% Bombast-Filled Parka

"Sure, you're an elephant, but you're not at all elephantine."

Bear Office Worker

"Not to blow my own horn, but the ad for my book in the 'Times' called it 'extraordinary'."

Beating Dad at Chess.

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

'What have you got?'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

Complimentary nuts: 'You may well be the most handsome, virile chap in the room tonight.'

'It was very good.'

I always frame yours, J.B.