Master Orator Gifts

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

William Pitt the Elder

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

Debate Club Note

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

Thanksgiving.

Nice speech, but you don't have that many friends. You better add "Romans and countrymen."

"Is this speech pie-in-the-sky nonsense or aspirational?"

"Whoa, too much information!"

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

'Eat in moderation, Drink in moderation. Be merry whenever you want.'

'Nice to meet you... And I don't use that phrase lightly.'

"In recognition of Jim's achievements during his long career with the company, we've put together this hilarious twenty minute gag reel..."

'... And now I shall pass you over to tonight's speaker who will give a brief summary of my introduction.'

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

"Doctor, your speech was certainly unabridged."

"What Color Is Your Soapbox?"

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'

"I have a comment but nowhere to send it."

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

Allegro

'The following speaker was scheduled to give his talk last week, but needed more time to prepare his impromptu speech.'

"Pastor, we think it's time for your sabbatical."

Soap Box

J. Dudley - Statesman, orator, philanthropist, big deficit spender.

' Pol Meeting'

'Mr. Dentler is the man behind the man behind the man.'

Boy, this cold medicine works great.

"With your rhetorical skills, young man, do you realize that you could become a mogul?"