Master Of The Menu Mysteries Prints

"Yes, I can certainly recommend the lamb - everything else has gone."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Is the MSG local?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Kitchen Kapers

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Party time.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

'How is the water prepared?'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

'What'll it be?'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

National Coffee Day

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"