Master Of Laziness Pillows

"He's great at both sit and stay."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'Never put off till tomorrow something you can put off till the day after tomorrow...'

Book on Thumb Twiddling

Man and dog on their hover boards.

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

Houdini's infancy.

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

The Procrastinatorium.

"Isn't technology great? A drone dog walker."

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

"Who would've thought Ms. Marcus had so little sense of humor?"

Procrastinator's Leap.

'Ideally, I'd like a job where my multi-application cell phone will do all the work.'

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

'When someone asks where you work, what do you tell them?'

"I always put things off until the last minute."

Magician conjures up a crocodile and is chased by it

"So what do you plan on accomplishing today?"

These days, he only uses the @#$% thing to change the channel.

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

'I'm not seeking any answers . . .I don't know anything . . . I'm just lazy!'

Clown King

Procrastination is not tax deductible.

I'm sure it's here somewhere!

'Mrs. Philip, please chew my food for me.'

"I want to compliment you on your work- tell me when you do some."

"Fred is the counterpoint to a perpetual motion machine."