Master Of Facades T-Shirts

"Actually, I wasn't paying any attention to what you just said, but I LOOK interested and engaged, don't I? Cosmetic Eyebrow Surgery!! It's totally changed my LIFE!!"

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

Mozart on a computer,

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

The Perfect Cannonball

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

Maitre d' to astronaut couple entering restaurant: 'Gravity or no-gravity?'

Records?

"You notice all the books behind me...one of these days I'll get around to read one."

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"A table in Siberia, please."

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

A restaurant with a "Main Dining Room" and a "Room for Dessert".

Tom Bagley's Outer Shell.

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

"Is the slop fresh?"

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

LOVENUTS: When asked her opinion on the subject, Didi simply gives a rueful smile.

Hi. Can a maitre d' marry people, like a ship's captain? ? ? Menu.

"Don't be fooled. Chaos reigns."

'No tables are available at this time. Would you be interested in take-out?'

"Relax―all I want is a good table."

'Could you hurry up on that order for table five? -- they're holding the maitre d' hostage.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

Miserable man holding a balloon with smiling face.

'Don't be a sissy - It's not that cold!'

'Your proposal's on my desk right now, though I have to admit, I've made some significant changes.'

'He said it could be about 45 minutes, due to the global economic slowdown.'

A jogger being bombarded by tiny battleships in a pond.

"Places, everybody!"