Master Of Expectations T-Shirts

"Now at this point reality intruded."

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'I made them during the blizzard in January. Whad'ya say we go liven up my sister's pool party?'

Unrealistic expectations tend to lead to disappointment. . .

"It looked different on the internet."

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

Quiet Quitting

Wendel enjoyed magic school but he was having a little trouble in his trickonometry class.

"It looked better on pinterest."

"I hate to be a dream snatcher but your baby is going to be just average."

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

'Almost done.'

"It looked better when I saw it on Instagram."

'Well, what did you expect?'

'I think the main reason you see the glass as half full and we see the glass as half empty is because you've been drinking.'

The vacation rental agency is saying technically that's a "lap pool," so we can't get our money back.

"Run to the store and buy me a tub of ketchup!"

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

The Next Big Thing/ The Next Best Thing.

"I like that new chap Jenkins. Seems to be a good listener."

News and Magazines. New Economic Data. They say a rising tide lifts all boats. My problem is I keep capsizing in the turbulent waters.

Why Do We Always Want Something Better For Our Children Than What We Had For Ourselves?

"I survived this long by telling all the young toms that a farmer will bring an ax to cut the fence down and set free the first turkey he sees."

"And do you both agree to lower your expectations so this marriage will at least have a fighting chance?"

Suspense

'No...it's not what I was expecting either.'

"...you've spoiled him with that Treehouse"

"I got what I wanted, but it wasn't what I expected."

"I'm a wunderkind slash flop."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles - we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts!'

'Martha, did we receive an eviction notice yesterday?'

'So that's two Pinot Grigios and a Baby Sham. We hope.'