Master Of Compromise T-Shirts

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

Book Deal

"Congratulations on your entertaining presentation skills Smith, and the way they hide your dismal sales figures!"

"He'll see you now, but I should warn you � he secretly despises you."

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

'Someday, Mel, when you're here, I'd like you to teach me how to do that 'conspicuous by his absence' thing you do so well!'

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'A sea view would be nice-Black Sea for him,Red Sea for me!'

'Right...we've agreed to mediation to decide whether or not we go to mediation!'

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

It's been a pleasure taking you to the cleaners.

'I was just, er, conserving energy.'

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

'Politics-free contract that was only a dream.'

"I propose we meet in the middle."

'I worked out a deal with management that if I trim two minutes off of every coffee break, they'll let me retire 14 months early,'

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

"Of course, I expect a ten-per-cent finder's fee."

Express Checkout: One Basket Only.

'A few of us are leaving a little bit early if that's ok with you sir.'

'Here lies one of THE GREAT contract negotiators...it says so in the fine print.'

The First Supercommittee

"A compromise is when nobody gets what they want, and every seeks vengeance."

"What should we do today?"

'What's procrastination?'