Master Of Bedside Manner Gifts

'That bad, huh?'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"I feel your pain level."

Doctors Discussion

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

'Either I've got bad news for you or my watch has stopped...'

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

'You're not listening to what you're hearing.'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

'Isn't there ANYTHING you can do, Doctor?'

"Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding emphatically."

"I would not recommend you bypass heart surgery."

"I find this helps, when I have to tell a patient some devastating news."

Other men just sing in the bath

'Doc, check out screen 2 in ten minutes...we got the big game!'

"You fix computers, and I fix people. Judging by the shape you're in, my job will be a lot more challenging than yours."

"The surgery went well. It had spread, but I'm quite confident we got it all."

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

Heyyy, don't worry about a thing. One more energy drink and I'll have you sliced and sutured in no time!

"Your bloodwork just came back. . . the GOOD news is that you've definitely got some!"

'Actually, you're my second patient if you count that cadaver in med school.'

"It looks like the internal bleeding should - I'm sorry. It's taking everything in my power not to tickle you right now."

"I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?"

The real reason we have natural disasters...

"The doctor is a little squeamish, so don't mention anything gross."

"Anyhoo, it's malignant."

'And if you like we can arrange for you to receive next to last rites on the morning of your surgery.'

"We have to stop meeting this way, Allison!"

Bed Boxing Ring.

Bedside manner could determine quality points.