Quirky Bedside Manner Appreciator Gifts

'Let me put it this way, if you were an animal, I'd donate you to research.'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"I feel your pain level."

Doctors Discussion

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'Either I've got bad news for you or my watch has stopped...'

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

'You're not listening to what you're hearing.'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

'Isn't there ANYTHING you can do, Doctor?'

"Ok Mr Rogers, that's enough bubblewrap."

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

"Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding emphatically."

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

"I would not recommend you bypass heart surgery."

'Doc, check out screen 2 in ten minutes...we got the big game!'

"I find this helps, when I have to tell a patient some devastating news."

Heyyy, don't worry about a thing. One more energy drink and I'll have you sliced and sutured in no time!

"Your bloodwork just came back. . . the GOOD news is that you've definitely got some!"

'Actually, you're my second patient if you count that cadaver in med school.'

"It looks like the internal bleeding should - I'm sorry. It's taking everything in my power not to tickle you right now."

"The doctor is a little squeamish, so don't mention anything gross."

"I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?"

"Anyhoo, it's malignant."

"We have to stop meeting this way, Allison!"

"His baldness was way out ofcontrol, so we had to put him into a medically induced comb-over."

Bedside manner could determine quality points.

'Doctor, would it be possible for you to treat me as a human being?'

'But I'm sure my regular doctor is better than you. He has a Mercedes, you know.'

"He hated funerals. His last words were, ‘Wake me up when it's over.'"

#somuchlove