Massage Therapists T-Shirts

'Sure, it's an improvement. But I guess we'll need to get to the airport a lot earlier from now on...'

Spa

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

'When are you going to learn to relax?'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

Planned service changes

'Mom's Spa'

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

The Tragedy of Prosperity

Complete Makeover

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

'My hair is so bad I have to cut it myself. I tried going to a hair salon once - they just yelled at it.'

"You're incredibly tight."

'I also offer massage therapy.'

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

Deep tissue massage.

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Couples Massage

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

"Shoulder work ahead"

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."