Massages T-Shirts

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

Chair massages.

"What do you mean a 'surcharge'? It says $5 here!"

A professional wrestlers prepares to

Client to lawyer: 'I'm suing my massage therapist for injuries sustained to my back. He rubbed me the wrong way.'

'...I love how you run your fingers through my hair...' ( a guys fingers actually running like legs do).

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

"Let me know if the incessant complaining about my boyfriend is too much."

"Shoulder work ahead"

"Greg will be giving your massage today."

"Medical massage rubs me the wrong way."

'I'll be right back after these massages.'

'There, Miss Kaufman, getting the rhythm now?'

"Higher...to the right. Ahhh...that's nice!"

"Do you think you can work these knots out?"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Hot Pie Therapy

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

'When are you going to learn to relax?'

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Mom's Spa'

Planned service changes

Ultimately, the teachers union agreed to a lesser pay increase in exchange for a full-time massage therapist in the faculty lounge.

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

'I also offer massage therapy.'

Deep tissue massage.

Dave's diaper-changing incentive chart.

Couples Massage

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

"You're carrying a lot of pretension in your back."